Blog Roundup: October 31 - November 6, 2011

Chuck Wendig's blog remains a go-to resource for the writer with a sense of humor about what she does. He posted another 25 things article, this one about writing advice.

Greta van der Rol hosted Meg Mims for a post on the importance of research. Lack of research can rip your reader right out of the story and leave a sour taste in her mouth, so it's vital.

Imran Siddiq offered this post of tips on writing prose. I also thought this post on "oomph" words was interesting because it shows how important word choice really is.

Bob Mayer offered this wrap up of Storyworld. I thought Disney's weenie was especially useful. All ten of those tips can apply to your "brand" as a writer.

I want to share this post from Erotic Romance because it made me start planning a blog post on the crossover from fanfiction to original fiction.

Into the Morning made this post on book design trends she loves and hates. Look closely. If you're in the market for a cover designer, I think she potentially offered.

Keystrokes and Word Counts has a series of posts on the ABCs of NaNo. Even if you're not doing NaNo, the posts are worth checking out.

Stella Deleuze posted part three of her dialogue attributes series.

The Bookshelf Muse hosted a guest post from Janice Hardy on marketing your novel.

Written Words posted about not carving your outline into stone. I think the core of the post is important to every writer: be flexible.

Your Cover Uncovered reviewed the Tulagi Hotel by Heikki Hetala.

SitRep Saturday: Title Changes, Pen Names

It looks like Better Together is getting a title change to Better With You.

I am having the damnedest time with everything about this story. I only managed to edit the first chapter, which is much slower than normal for me. I can't find the right cover image and the covers I'm working on just don't seem right. It's very frustrating. I know that a big part of why this isn't going as well as I'd hoped is because the next two projects I have lined up are much more "me." That isn't to say that there's not part of me in this story; there most definitely is. But this story is more a reaction to things happening around me and the next two projects are much more personal.

Which is why I'm looking at a third pen name. The next two projects are not in the same genre and wouldn't attract the same audience or type of audience as my previous two and current one, or even as my novel-in-waiting. I think I have the first name, but the surname is eluding me.

And that is this week's progress update. A whole lot of nothing. These weeks happen.

Book Review: The Iron Admiral: Deception by Greta van der Rol

cover image copyright Greta van der Rol

Listen carefully. Hear that? That's the sound of my professionalism flying straight out of the window. Why? Because my fangirl hat is very firmly on my head and we're going to talk about Greta van der Rol's The Iron Admiral: Deception.

First of all, you should know that this is the sequel to The Iron Admiral: Conspiracy. If you haven't read that one yet, read it first, because while just enough of the first part is explained in this one to get you through it, you need to read both to appreciate the full awesomeness that is the story of Allysha Marten and Chaka Saahren. I reviewed the first one here.

Second of all, the book has been out for a month and I only finished it in the last week because it was so good I just didn't want it to end. I did not want to click the last page and be all ~angsty~ that it was over and I had to read something else. I didn't want to read something else.

Let's discuss Allysha Marten, our heroine. A lot of sci-fi heroines--hell, a lot of romance heroines--tend to fall into the Mary Sue category. Allysha has a slightly unusual backstory, is astonishingly talented, attracts some seriously eligible bachelors, ends up in the middle of a galactic plot, and still is probably--Sorry, Chaka!--my favorite character. I love her. She is nowhere even close to a Mary Sue. Allysha has a very realistic, nearly fatal flaw: she's hopeful. I absolutely love that she just doesn't believe people are as horrible as they prove themselves to be time and time again. She trusts, and she loves, and she gives people the benefit of the doubt, but she isn't stupid about it. When she makes mistakes, she owns up to them and she fixes them. She is a complete, full, three-dimensional character and if we had gone through the whole story without even a hint of romance, I still would have read and loved these books because she is just. that. awesome.


Then we have Chaka Saahren, the Iron Admiral himself. In these modern times of feminized men and soft, yielding heroes, his unwavering, unflinching, unapologetic manliness is swoon-worthy. He is every micromillimeter a military officer. He's authoritative. He's cunning. He's respected and respectful. He knows exactly what he wants and he acts to acquire that which he desires. Chaka isn't without his softer side, which makes him the sort of man a woman can fall in love with, but his softer side is something he shows only when the timing is appropriate. In Deception, we learn more about him as Chaka, not as Brad Stone or as the Iron Admiral, and, like Allysha, he is a complete, full, three-dimensional character. He has his flaws, and one of them is so dangerous it's terrifying. Like Allysha, if we had gone through the whole story without even a hint of romance, I still would have read and loved these books because Chaka is exactly the kind of lead man I love in my sci-fi.

But we don't go through the whole story with one or the other. We, lucky readers, get them both.

Deception picks up shortly after where Conspiracy leaves off. We're thrown immediately into the story, into the conflict between Allysha and Chaka and into the mess Sean has made. The whole book is one breathless riot of action, scene after scene, with lulls only when it is necessary. (As in, when Ms. van der Rol takes pity on us and allows us to breathe.) There were times when I actually had to sop reading because I was too tense to keep going.

Readers who are easily triggered by discussion of rape, or readers disturbed by it, should be warned.

Chaka's backstory is heartbreaking and explains a lot about why he is as hard and authoritative as he is. It also explains the dangerous-and-terrifying aspect of his personality that is part of what keeps Allysha away and, I'll be honest, scared me, too. Grand Admiral Saahren is not a man to mess with. His single-minded determination to be married to Allysha is overwhelming. He loves her. That's clear in every interaction he has with her and in every conversation he has about her. Toward the end of the book, though, he proves that he is a man of duty and a believer in "what's best for the most," which I actually thought made him an even better character. It would have been too easy for the author to let Chaka slip into the "my wants and my woman before all else" mindset, but he didn't. It was perfect.

Allysha is still recovering from the hurt her husband caused and from the lies Chaka told her. She works through that as the story progresses and she does it in a completely reasonably, real way... but there were still times I wanted to shout at her to just admit to herself that she loved him already.

Things look especially dire near the end, but each conflict--the Chaka/Allysha romance, the politics, and the mess with Sean--is resolved absolutely beautifully. Each conflict is resolved in ways that could easily happen in the real world.

Basically, this whole story is handled masterfully. Common science fiction pitfalls--plot holes, unrealistic conflicts/resolutions, incomprehensible technology, one-dimensional alien species, one-dimensional support characters--are completely avoided. In fact, I would love to see an entire series of books based in this universe. I'd love to read about Butcher. (Okay, I confess that I've developed a bit of a crush on Butcher.) Or Admiral Leonov. Or Chief Werensa. I'd love to read about Xanthor. That, to me, is the mark of excellent science fiction. I care about the "minor" characters. I care about the world they inhabited. I care about the ships, the technology, the planets, the politics, the history, the culture, the customs.

Best of all, the end of the story is so perfect.

Buy this book. You can get it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, and OmniLit. If you like science fiction, if you like good stories, if you like your heroines just as strong as your heroes, read this book. You won't be sorry.

Then come back here and be a fanperson with me.

On Writing: The Process

In order to give myself a break from editing Better Together, I thought that I would share my writing process. I thought that I would share why I think writing is hard.

Spoiler alert: It is long!

Step 1: Have brilliant idea for a story.
Maybe it starts with a character, maybe it starts with a scene, maybe it starts with a line of dialogue, maybe it starts with a point to make. However it starts, it always seems like the best idea for any story ever.

Step 2: Pre-write.
I'm a plotter, so I do everything. I write the one-line summary, the one-page summary, and the longer-than-one-page summary. I write out the big plot points and the subplot points and diagram the conflict. I summarize character backstory and the story's backstory. I research names and places and any details I may need to know. (For Cass, I looked up the old Route 66 and used Google maps to plot her route. For Cowboy, I researched cattle ranching in northern Colorado.) Everything gets written down and I refer back to it frequently.

Step 3: Write the action draft.
An action draft is the first draft of the story. If the outline is the skeleton, the action draft is the skeleton with muscle attached. Action, emotion, and dialogue are written out, usually in incomplete sentences. Well, the dialogue is usually complete. An action draft is usually written in present tense with an omniscient viewpoint, whereas the final result will be past tense third-person subjective.

Step 4: Write story.
Once the first draft is done, I write the second draft. I write full sentences, change the tense, stop head-hopping, that sort of thing.

Step 5: Rewrite.
Then I fix it. Usually whole sections need to be re-written. Dialogue is altered. Sometimes the point of view changes. By the time I'm done with this step, it's okay, but not ready. Not even close.

Step 6: Editing, round one.
This is usually when I get rid of the passive voice, delete the -ly words, and abandon commas, em-dashes, and semi-colons. (While swearing to stop my abuse of the English language immediately.)

Step 7: Editing, round two.
During this round of editing, I tend to focus on word choices, characterization, tone, voice, and dialogue. I start looking at sentence structures, overall rhythm, and sentence/paragraph length.

Step 8: Hate it.
Hating my work is a vital part of any project. By the end of the second round of edits, I hate every single word on every single page. I hate the characters. I hate the situation. I hate everything about it and I wonder what kind of crack I was smoking when I thought it would be such a good idea.

Step 9: Whine about hating it to anyone who will listen.
I am fortunate enough to have three good friends who are also writers. They understand the process. I think I amuse them when it comes time to whine. I also tend to whine about the writing to my parents. My dad is a photographer so he understands art and my mother just thinks I'm crazy.

Step 10: Editing, round three.
Each word, each sentence, each paragraph, each scene... This is the details round. Is that the right word? Are these sentences too much alike? Can his hand be here? What kind of hat is that?

Step 11: Read it.
I usually wait a few hours or a day between the last step and this one. I try to read it with fresh eyes. I try to read it as a reader and not as the hate-filled god of the world I've created.

Step 12: Give it to beta-readers and editor(s).
While it's off being hacked to small pieces by others, I ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist. Don't open the file. And I stress and angst and panic about it the whole time. I also usually read it a few more times and make more changes before they send back their notes. Yes, I do mean plural. I send each story off to at least two people and usually four or five, depending on what it's about.

Step 13: Editing, round four.
This round of editing is mercifully short. I go through each beta's/editor's notes and make changes as I see fit.

Step 14: Read it again.
But I still have to read it through one more time as a reader. At this point, I'm usually drunk, so my hate is mellowed by whiskey/champagne/red wine.

Step 15: Angst about it.
Is it good enough? Does it say what I want it to say? Is this the best story I can tell? Is this my story or could it belong to anyone? Why did I write this? Why is it special? Why do I think anyone will want to read this?

Step 15: Publish it.
I shove it out into the world. I'm done. It's ready. It is good enough. It does say what I want it to say. It is the best story I can tell.

Step 16: Have another brilliant idea for another story.

Book Review: Father Figure by Jasmine Dayne

cover copyright Jasmine Dayne

Today's review: Father Figure by Jasmine Dayne, a short story featuring hardcore sex between an older man and a younger woman.

Once again, I was drawn in by the summary. Once again, I decided not to read the sample Amazon provided. Once again, I regret it.

Shortly after high school graduation, eighteen-year-old Kat returns to the home of her childhood best friend after four years away. Her best friend isn't there, but her friend's father is.

Father Figure wasn't as bad as Camping with Daddy. It's not even the worst thing I've read. The premise of the story is good and some of the details (like the fact that Kat once caught Steve masturbating) could have been really great if the story had been handled with more skill and care. My eyes skated over most of the errors (dropped letters at the ends of words, missing words) with no issue. It was well-formatted and the length was nice for a quick read.

I still had several problems with it.

First of all, Kat's relationship with Steve confused me. Early in the story, she told us that she didn't think of Steve as her "dad or anything." Okay, so why is this story called Father Figure? If it's simply older man/younger woman sex without the daddy kink, why give it that title? Is it because Steve happens to be a father? I don't understand. If Kat thinks of him "like a good buddy" then why was her first sexual fantasy about him? The back-and-forth irritated me. I don't think it's too much to ask for consistency, even in a story that is around 5,000 words long.

Characterization was the second set of problems. Kat was clearly an immature person. She bounced from innocent (being a virgin with little experience at all with boys/men, never having had alcohol) to not-so-innocent (masturbating thinking about Steve's dick, showing off her body to him, intruding on him in his bedroom, initiating sex with him). I wish the author had picked one or the other. Steve wasn't any better. At times he behaved in an appropriate fatherly fashion (comforting Kat when she vented about her mother), at times it was inappropriate (serving her beer, treating her like a child when it was "bedtime"). His transition from reluctant sex partner to demanding sex partner would have been much more satisfying and believable if there had been any consistency before that point.

The dialogue regularly made me cringe. It only accentuated the utter lack of characterization. Neither Kat nor Steve spoke in a believable way, with the exception of one line uttered by Steve shortly before the sex.

As for the sex itself, it wasn't that bad. If the rest of the story had been well-written, it would have been hot. I had a personal issue with Kat being a "virgin squirter," but I could have believed it had the context been better.

This story was heavy on the telling and the passive voice, light on the showing and the active voice. I didn't like Kat at all. I could have liked her, and I could have liked Steve, but the story wasn't written well enough.

Book Review: Camping with Daddy by Amber Stone

cover art copyright Amber Stone

Today I'm reviewing Amber Stone's Camping with Daddy, a Dark Sensations production.

Let me start off by saying that Daddy as an erotic archetype is something I find fascinating and incredibly hot. I read Pat Califia's Doing It For Daddy in college and that's what hooked me. I've had many years of experience both reading and writing this subject, so I'm not new. I'm also well aware that there are several ways to explore Daddy (role-playing, non-incestuous, incest; heterosexual, homosexual) and that the way Daddy appeals to one person isn't necessarily the way Daddy appeals to another.

With all of that said, this book is just awful.

It's a short story, which I liked. I don't mind paying $0.99 for a short story of this length. The premise isn't bad: eighteen-year-old Amber goes camping with her stepfather as a way to bond because they've been butting heads at home since he married her mother the year before. I thought it had an interesting, potentially great setup, so I didn't bother with the sample.

I should have.

It's shallow. It explores none of the emotional depth or conflict or the moral questions presented by this situation. There's no consideration for Amber's mother--Steve's wife. There's no hesitation from Amber or Steve. (Steve asking twice if she's "sure" is not hesitation. It's a standard stalling tactic in erotica and romance.) I wouldn't mind that except that there was absolutely no established pattern of anything that would lead to the two of them falling into bed together. Amber "talked" briefly of being Daddy's Little Girl, but there was no connection made between those feelings and feelings she had for Steve except for saying that Steve would never replace her dad. Amber isn't promiscuous. Thunderstorms get her hot, she's horny, and Steve is there. That's it. That's the whole reason they have sex.

And that's all it is. Amber and Steve might as well be strangers for the sex they have. If you remove the trappings of their relationship, the sex and dialogue stand fine on their own. Well, fine enough, I guess, for empty mechanical description.

I don't mind straight-up written porn. I've written it myself. There are times that it's enjoyable. This was not enjoyable. It reads like it was written by a fifteen-year-old boy who hasn't had sex yet but has seen a few really bad porn movies. Steve's penis is at least eight or nine inches long but I think it's longer, based on the description that preceded the discussion of length. They have anal sex with little foreplay and only spit as lubricant. Amber is almost a virgin, mind; as in, she has only had PIV sex once, has never had anal sex and, from what I gather, has never even tried anal play on herself. If many years of writing m/m erotica have taught me anything, it's that buttsex is a little more complicated than "spit on pucker, insert penis."

There were technical issues with the work as well. In several instances, the incorrect word--while properly spelled--was used. "Wear" instead of "where," "peak" instead of "peek," "affect" instead of "effect," "bit" instead of "by," "me" instead of "my." One mistake in a piece this length would have been easy to overlook. The consistent misuse of words coupled with the weak writing and the telling-not-showing narrative made them impossible to overlook.

The funniest moment came when I thought Steve had two penises and they both had eyes. "His cock sprang free from their confines and stared proudly at me."

I am clearly not a member of this story's target audience. That's okay. The author has a firm grasp of spelling and punctuation, it's just that she could benefit from a beta reader or an editor with a keener eye. Like I mentioned before, the premise is quite promising. I really wanted to like this story. I am willing to suspend my disbelief when it comes to hot sex... but the sex has to be hot. This story did nothing for me.

No, that's not true. It did a few things for me. First, it made me spend a lot of time going, "WTF?" Second, it made me feel scared, nervous, anxious, and insecure about my own writing. Third, it made me swear that I will be more careful about my editing from now on.

So, I guess, in the end, it was a dollar well spent.

Monday Miscellany: Happy Halloween!

Rebel Alliance, X-wing, Empire: Halloween 2010

The scary started when I got up early this morning to get a jump on my work. The kid is teething (as in, she's cutting five teeth at once right now) so she's clingy and cranky and generally just needs a lot of attention, so I've been neglecting my reading and blogging. I edited the first scene of Better Together and scribbled some meta about the characters, then broke out the Kindle a read a couple of Daddy-themed erotic short stories I bought last week on a whim.

They were awful. Just awful. One was worse than the other, but if I had read the second one without reading the first one, I would still be just as upset. It's not the fact that I picked a couple of misses that bothers me, though I do feel so strongly about them that you will be seeing negative reviews on my blog for the first time ever, it's the fact that they're so bad that they make me worry about my own writing. They made me feel insecure, anxious, and worried. I don't like it when things I read have that effect on me. I felt pretty good about Cass and Cowboy. I felt like they were the best possible stories I could have written. Now I'm not so sure.

Anyway, look for reviews for Camping with Daddy and Father Figure this week. I'm also working on a review for The Iron Admiral: Deception, the sequel to The Iron Admiral: Conspiracy. That review will be radioactive. I love those books. I love that author. I'm so enthusiastic that I'm pretty sure I come off looking like a sock puppet or a relative or an employee or something. I can't help it. They're just. so. good. I also started reading a book called Space Junque that already shows promise.

My goal this week is to finish editing Better Together and send it off to my betas. I would also like to outline each of the six stories in the upcoming WIP, Duct Tape & Pancakes. I jotted down some notes last night for another six-story anthology tentatively titled Forgive Me, Father, but we'll see where that goes.

Happy Halloween, readers! May you all have a fun and freaky day!

Blog Roundup: October 24 - 30, 2011

The weekly installment of Chuck Wendig's 25 Things series was reasons you won't finish that story. This is especially relevant with the start of NaNoWriMo being mere days away.

James Killick wrote about four lies the Internet tells you about writing. The man makes a good point. For all the posts and articles we read about how to market ourselves and our writing, it's good to take a moment and remember that we are artists and people and that we are trying to share our work with people.

Keystrokes & Word Counts had a guest post on being a NaNo rebel. I think that if you're going to participate in NaNo, you need to have a game plan. I also think that you can participate without "really" participating: you can write your 50,000 new words without following all of the rules.

Paperback Writer offered ten "gems o' wisdom" to ignore during NaNo. She makes some good points. I think some of those gems are, you know, gems for a reason. Particularly "write what you know." I'm a firm believer in writing what you know--or learning what you don't know.

Stella Deleuze posted part two of her discussion of dialogue attributes. If you have any questions at all about when and where to use punctuation or he said/she said, check it out.

SitRep Saturday: Titles & New Projects

The new romance novelette has a title! I'm going to call it Better Together. Now, if only I could finish editing it. And find the right cover image for it.

This week, I also action-drafted a short story that, when finished, will be around 10,000 words. It's slightly different from the work I've put out so far, but I'm still very proud of it. The working title is Sir but, as usual, that is subject to change.

I even outlined a six-story anthology and started the outline and action draft of the first story for that one. It has a working title--Duct Tape & Pancakes--and each story also has a working title. It is always a good sign to me when the titles come easily.

All About Editing: Finding An Editor

So you've written your piece. You've self-edited it to within an inch of its fragile life. You're ready for an editor. That's great! But where do you find one of these magical, skilled people?

Decide if you need a beta reader or an editor.
A beta reader is less formal and probably doesn't have the same professional credentials as an editor. Here's a tip: you probably want both.

Check with your colleagues.
If you belong to a writers' group (and you probably should), see if any other members offer beta reading or critiquing services. Having someone who reads and writes in your genre look over your work can be immensely helpful. This isn't to say that having someone who doesn't read and write in your genre is a waste of time, but you're going to get different insights from each of these people. If you're on Twitter, ask the authors you communicate with who they recommend.

Check with your friends and family.
Having your loved ones read your work can be terrifying. I understand that. But they may surprise you. It never hurts to float the question their way. Treat them the same as you would any other beta reader, though. No special treatment just because they're loved ones. If you think feelings will be hurt because of this, there's no harm in steering clear. I know there are families out there with family members who would be hurt if they made suggestions the author didn't take. I'm fortunate; most of my friends were made in writing circles, so we all just trade beta reading and editing.

When all else fails, Google.
There are lots of professional editors out there. Check their work and references before you hire anyone.

Last week, we had a guest post from Nicole. You can visit her website here (and you can read her testimonials here). If you're in the market for an editor, Su is another option I'd like to recommend. You can visit her website here.