The Blog Post That Is Not A Blog Post

So I'll come out and confess here that I'm kind of having a rough day (the baby didn't fall asleep until the husband woke up, the weather is weird, and we were supposed to have dinner guests who canceled at the last minute) and blogging is the last thing I really want to be doing. However, I want to make it to 500 blog hits this month and that won't happen unless I actually, you know, blog.

This is where the "now with 100% more filler" tag comes in.

Last night, I opened up a new word processor file (I don't use MS Word, I use Open Office--I do plan to post about it at some point) and wrote up some meta on Lilah Thompson, my heroine from the current WIP. Because I've been editing line-by-line, I've lost sight of the big picture. I needed to step back and look at it. I also needed to work out Lilah's motivation. She's not exactly the most likable character (I'm hoping she comes off sort of like Scarlett O'Hara, a character I always thought was unlikable but still appealing), but I don't think it's necessary for a heroine to be a likable character. After all, not everyone is a likable person. I do hope that readers can identify with her, which to me is more important.

Meta is telling in the way that the actual story is showing. It isn't ever meant to be shared, but it can be very useful. I write meta for original characters when I'm having a difficult time sticking to their characterization (characterization is something I'm fabulous at--when I write fanfiction; I struggle when I write original fiction, mostly because character-building is something I have to work at) or when I'm having trouble with the evolution of a character.

Knowing that no one is going to read it is liberating. Knowing that it's a useful tool for helping me focus and settling my brain makes me want to do it.

Lilah has her reasons for doing what she does, and I explored those. She gets her happy ending, but not before she makes a mess of everything. I think her situation is something most of us can identify with. We may not have dead spouses or high school sweethearts who waited for us, we may not have distant-but-loving fathers and sweet-but-demanding mothers, but I think that most people will understand Lilah.

I like this story. Which is good, because if I don't like it, how can I expect anyone else to like it? I like the emotional conflict Lilah feels and I like the physical manifestation of the Clay/Lilah conflict. I like that I got to write humor (the book cover is a result of the funniest scene in the story, I think) and that I got to write banter. Cass's story was sex with minor character development; Lilah's story is character development with sex thrown in for fun.

Now all I have to do is finish the second editing pass and send it off to beta readers and, maybe, advance readers.