Generally speaking, I prefer to think positive. Negative thinking has dragged me down far too much in my life and it's just easier and more pleasant to focus on nice things. However, in the year since I started this self-publishing journey in a desperate attempt to jumpstart my writing career, I've noticed a trend in questions. Specifically, I've noticed nine questions I really hate being asked. I know the askers generally mean well and I always appreciate support and interest from my family and friends... but if I never hear these questions again, it'll be too soon. In fact, I've actively avoided discussing my work with most friends and family because of these questions.
1. Where do you get your inspiration?
Where does any artist get her inspiration? From the world around her and her great big imagination. That's it. Sometimes I can narrow it to a specific thing for a specific story or scene in a story or piece of dialogue, but for the most part, it's a general mishmash of everything. Explaining this has become such a pain.
2. Do you really believe/think like Character A?
Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. This is why writing has been called a socially-acceptable form of schizophrenia. I get to live in heads that aren't my own. Any answer I give to this question is guaranteed to get me a look like I've sprouted another head on my shoulder and the judgment can be disheartening if it comes from someone I respect.
3. How come I never knew you thought about those things?
Because it's not something I talk about, it's something I write about. Or, more negatively, because when I have tried to talk to you about those things, you blew me off because they didn't interest you. Or possibly because I didn't want to talk to you about them.
4. I'm your very conservative relative and we're not close. Tell me what your explicit book is about and where I can buy it, please.
So I wrote these books and they have a lot of sex in them. One of them even has some lesbian sex. Also I sometimes write borderline adultery. Have fun at church this Sunday! I have told my grandmother and my husband's grandmothers about my work. Awkward.
5. Where did you learn to write like that?
I read a lot and then I decided that since I liked it, I would try to write it myself. And I got pretty good at it. That's the best I can do with that question. Writing is a skill just like anything else, really.
6. How are book sales going?
It doesn't matter what I say, because you're going to give me your opinion on how to make them higher.And your opinion is probably wrong. And I really don't feel like pretending to be appreciative for your help. So I'll just mumble something and change the subject now.
7. Would you like to hear my ideas for marketing even though I don't know anything about writing/publishing/advertising?
No. No I would not. This question actually offends me. Do you think I just jumped into this without looking? Do you think I don't do research and listen to people who actually have insight? Do you think I'm not smart enough to figure it out myself? If I need your help or want your opinion, I will come ask you. But since you don't even know half of what I know about the industry (and let's face it, I don't even know very much), I think it's safe to say that I won't be asking.
8. Would you like to know what you should write next and why?
Nope. If you've got a million-dollar story idea, you write it.
9. Did you base this story on your life?
Even if I had, why would I tell you such embarrassing, intimate details? If we weren't close enough for you to know the answer to that question before you read my story, what makes you think we're close enough now?
This post has been Ellie venting. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled helpful blogging.
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